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(via lolsofunny)
- math test: a farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots what is the probablity his moms name is leslie
- history test: the american civil war ended in 1865, explain how this had a defining role in the extinction of dinosaurs
- literature test: explain what the author meant by, "the apple was as red as an apple"
- physics tests: The aliens ate 3.4 doughnuts. Their crumbs fell to the Earth because of gravity. Calculate how many penguins are eating pancakes at the speed of light.
when you accidentally step on your pet's foot
- Dog: IT'S OK I LOVE YOU ANYWAYS YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND COME ON LET'S GO PLAY!!!!!
- Cat: What the fuck? Do you have any idea what you just did? You stepped on my fucking foot, you moron. I will not accept your apology so easily I'll just leave you for a while and hide and when you come near me I'll hiss at you bitch. Go on a diet you fatass maybe then it won't hurt so goddamn much.
- Teacher: C'mon guys! You did this in 3rd grade!
- Student: I don't even remember what I had for dinner last night you fucking whore, hell i don't even remember what i had for breakfast this morning








